


Touch me

by orphan_account



Category: Hemlock Grove
Genre: Anal Sex, Biting, Blood Drinking, Blood and a lot of dirt, Blow Jobs, Bottom Roman, Cutting, First Time, Love Confessions, M/M, Top Peter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:20:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3911110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roman wants that Peter touches him.<br/>Love confessions and sex. =)<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anger

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a native speaker. I hope I tagged everything right.  
> Please be kind and point out mistakes when you find some. I hope you enjoy.

„What the hell is wrong with you?“ He is screaming and Roman doesn't like that. It makes him feel weak. He wants to apologize but he fears that it is pointless.  
„You should be able to control yourself!“ Roman stares on the floor, on the bloody mess that covers it. „I am sorry.“ he whispers. Peter moves closer. „What did you say? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!“ He grabs Roman firmly on his shoulders and shakes him a bit. „I am sorry.“ he repeats.  
„You should be.“ His voice is a lot softer now.  
He takes Romans Hand in his own, pulls him into a hug.  
Roman burries his face in the soft fabric of Peters T-shirt, inhaling the scent of Peter. He smells so good, sweet and dark, like the forest. After an eternity, Peter pulls gently on Romans Hand. „We should clean you up. Come.“ 

Roman is unable to move. Paralized. He clenches his fists and he is shaking. „Hey. It is going to be okay.“ It is never going to be okay. Never. „You will feel better after a shower. We have to get rid of all that blood and mud on you.“ Roman nods but still doesn't move. „Oh. FOR GODS SAKE!“ Peter pulls on Romans shirt and tears it in halve. And Roman starts crying. The tears are fighting aganist the blood and the dirt on Romans face. „Don't leave me.“  
Peter shreds the rest of Romans clothes, they're useless anyway. He hestitates for a second when he reaches Romans underwear. He tugs on the waistband of Romans boxershorts, pulling it down, just a bit. „I don't mind.“ Peter pulls them down to his knees, and tries not to look at Romans cock. He is curious though, but this is not the right time, or place. He pushes Roman towards the shower. „Oh, come on. You can do that yourself.“ Roman shakes his head. „You can't be serious!“ Angrily he undresses himself, he'll need a shower anyway. He moves behind Roman and turns the hot water on. „If you turn around I'll kill you. I mean it.“ Roman closes his eyes, his heart beats so fast and he feels hot, he's burning. And nothing will be left of him.  
Peter cleans himself, it feels nice to be clean again. Roman doesn't move. „I help you.“ he says and takes the soap and rubs on Romans skin. His touch is gentle and after a while Roman finally relaxes. Peter closes his arms around Roman and tries to clean Romans torso. „It would be easier if I could turn around.“ Roman says and laughs. „Feeling better? Than you can do that yourself.“  
„I like it when you touch me.“ the soap drops on the floor. Peter leans himselve against the wall of the shower.  
„Touch me.“ Roman turns around and move towards Peter. He presses there Bodies together against the wall. Peter swallows and can't surpress a moan. „Touch me, Peter.“ Romans smile is so beautiful and Peter wants nothing more than kiss him. „Touch me.“ his voice is shaking. „Roman.....We shouldn't...“  
„Touch me. Please. Touch. me.“ And than peter touches him.  
He starts with his face, gentle and sweet, caressing Romans cheeks, than his throat. Moves on to Romans chest. To the place where his heart must be, he can feel it beating against his fingers. Further down. To those gorgeous hip bones. Than he stops. He doesn't want to stop, but it is not right. There just friends. Friends don't do such things.  
But his heart, tells him otherwise. They're not friends. They're lovers now.  
„Can I?“  
„Please.“  
He touches Romans cock, which is already rocking hard. He closes his fist around it.  
„I never done this before.“  
„Don't worry. You're doing good.“ Roman smirks and Peter starts stroking firmer and faster.  
„Is that okay?“ Roman answers with a high-pitched moan. Peter goes on his knees to have better access. Roman moans his name. „Peter.“ Something breaks inside Peters chest, frees something in him, something he kept in there for too long. Roman reaches behind him and turns the water off.  
„Don't want to waste anything.“  
„Let me try something.“ Peter presses his lips firmly against Romans hips. Bites and licks the delicous skin. „Fuck. Peter. Fuck...“  
„You like that, heh?“ Roman answers with another „FUCK!“ louder this time.  
„I like the way you sound when I do this...I wonder...“ he stops.  
„What?“  
„I wonder how loud you can get. I wonder if I can make you say FUCK ME!“  
Peter kisses Romans cock, licks it from base to tip.  
Roman moans and grabs Peters hair to anchor him.  
Peter opens his mouth and Roman starts thrusting slowly inside the wet heat. It feels good. Peter grabs Romans ass and pushes his cock deeper down his throat. Roman can get very loud. He moans and screams and it is the most beautiful sound Peter ever heard. „Bed. Bed.“ Roman pants. Peter releases him and stumble towards the bedroom.  
The desire overwhelmes them, drowns them. Peter kisses those lips. Those big red lips which are made for kissing. Made for him. They're tongues are dancing around each other, wild and hungry. Peter pushes Roman who lands on the bed an climbs on top of him.  
„Touch me.“ Roman moans and Peter obeys. He touches him, spreads kisses all over Romans body.  
Until Roman finally screams.  
„Fuck me.“  
„Okay.“ Roman turns around but Peter stops him.  
„No. I want to look you in the eye. In those pretty green eyes.“ Roman lays on his side and kisses Peter. „Do you know how to...“  
„Not really. Need to prepare you, or not?“ Roman nods. „I've done it ones with a guy. I know how.“ Peter looks surprised. „I'm not gay.“  
„Never said that.“ He kisses the space between Romans eybrows. „But when you know how to do it than guide me.“ Roman reaches behind him and passes him a bottle of lube.  
„three fingers should be enough.“ Peter does as said.  
„Start slow and gentle. Start with one.“ Peter pushes one finger inside Roman. Slowly. „Deeper.“  
„You sure?“  
„Those long fingers have to have some sort of use, or not?“ Peter pushes deeper.  
„More.“ Peter adds the second one, pushes them in and out. Roman moans. „That feels amazing.“ Peter adds the third finger. „Oh Fuck.“  
„Fuck me. I want you inside me.“ He leans in for a kiss and guides Peters cock to his entrance.  
„I love you.“ Roman says.  
Peter moves slowly at first but it feels so good that he can't stop himselve. It must hurt, but Roman doesn't say anything. He just repeats the words I love you. Like a mantra.  
„I love you too.“ And than they both come.

„I love you, so much.“ Peter kisses him as an answer.  
„Why did you do it?“  
„What?“  
„Why did you killed that guy?“  
„Sometimes I need to see someone bleed. And I was tired of cutting myself open.“


	2. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changing my mind. this will be a multichapter story. Concentrating on the realtionship between Peter and Roman loosely following the series. I also like to write about Romans blood thirst so they will be a lot of it. I hope you like it

Peter isn't shocked. Or surprised. He doesn't feel anything at all. Maybe he expected it, Roman is an upyr, it is his nature. Of course he has the urge to see someone bleed.  
„That's the point where you run.“ Roman says but Peter shakes his head. „I stay.“  
He pulls Roman closer and kisses him.  
„If I were you I would run.“ Peter shakes his head again.  
„I am a werwolf. I am not afraid of you.“ they fit so perfectly together.  
„You should be.“ Peter kisses Roman again, hard and soft at the same time. His tongue slips into Romans mouth and makes Roman moan and sigh in pleasure. He grabs Roman and pulls him on top of him. They kiss again, it feels right. It is what they are supposed to do. They kiss and snuggle a very long time, he strokes Romans back and since a very long long time Peter feels happy. He feels complete.  
„Are we...together now? Are we a couple?“ He knows this a stupid question, but he needs to ask. He needs to know, if he can kiss Roman again, if he can touch and fuck him again.  
„If you want to.“ he suddenly seems so shy and innocent. It doesn't suit him, but it is cute.  
„Wouldn't I ask If I didn't want this? Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?“ Roman blushes and it looks so pretty.  
„I love you.“ he wisphers against Romans skin.  
„I must be dreaming. This can't be real.“ Roman pulls at the elasticband in Peters hair. He runs his fingers through the long strands of hair. Something has changed, the way they look at each other the way they talk. It is gentle and so sweet. They're really lovers now.  
„Why don't you wear your hair open?“ He wraps a haircoil around his Indexfinger.  
„It tangles when I do. I don't like that.“ Roman reaches for the blanket and covers Peter and himself. He feels suddenly very cold and he shivers.  
„Shee-it.“  
„What's wrong?“ Peter wraps his arms tightly around the Upyr.  
„The clothes. The blood. And the...body.“ They have almost forgotten that Roman made an awful lot of mess.  
„Stay here okay? Can I borrow some clothes?“ The clothes barely fit Peter but there clean.  
He climbs the stairs down.  
Nothing.  
The body, the mess. All gone. Vanished.  
„Hello Peter.“ Olivia smiles and points to some plastique bags.  
„You don't have to say Thank you. It would be nice and appropiate, but not necessary.“ He doesn't know why, but Romans mother always give him the creeps. She comes closer and runs a Hand through Peters hair, pets him like a dog.  
„You really should wear your hair open more often. It suits you.“ 

The next two weeks are quiet. No one kills anyone and Roman is calm and very sweet. Peter has no other words for it. His eyes are always watching Peter, not in a bad way, it is more like he can't get enough of his boyfriend. He yearns for Peters touch. They hold hands when nobody sees it and Roman likes to lay on Peters chest. Some part of them is always linked, they belong together.  
The way they treat each other is tender and gentle and Peter likes it that way.  
He knows that the urge will come back, that Roman will want to see blood again. May it be his own, or somone elses.  
It makes Peter afraid, he doesn't want Roman to feel like that. He wants him to be happy. They keep it a secret, nobody but Shelley (and maybe Olivia but Peter is not exactly sure if she really knows what they are doing when they're alone) knows that they love each other, deeply. Roman became the most important thing in the whole world.  
It's funny, Peter was always afraid of feelings, of cages of commitment. It is different with Roman. It was never the other person who put him in the cage, it was Peter himself.  
Roman freed all that feelings that Peter had hidden so well, buried deep in his chest.  
The peace ends when Roman feels the urge again.  
He calls Peter, crying and shaking.  
„I'll do it. I'll do it again. I will kill someone.“ Peter grabs his jacket and runs to Romans house. He runs the whole way without stopping and when he reaches Romans house he is exhausted.  
„Peter.“ Roman says.  
„Hey, Sweetheart. Come here.“ Peter pulls Roman into a hug.  
„I am not sweet.“  
„Oh yes you are. Sweetest thing in the whole world. I love you.“ he kisses Roman on the forehead, on his nose and than on his lips.  
He tastes like salt and cigarettes.  
They go inside, in Romans room Peter pushes Roman on the bed and climbs on top of him.  
„Give me your blade.“  
„What?“  
„The razor blade, or your knife or what else you use to cut.“ Roman pulls out the razor blade and gives it Peter.  
„Darling. You're strong. You can fight against the urge. I know you can.“ He caresses Romans cheeks.  
„That's easy for you to say. And fucking stop giving me stupid pet names.“ Peter sighs and pulls the upyr into a deep and sloppy kiss.  
„Maybe I should give you pet names. It makes more sense since you're halfanimal. Maybe I should call you Fifi or something like that.“  
„Woof.“ Peter says and Roman smiles.  
„Touch me.“ Peter smiles back.  
„Lay down.“ He removes Romans clothes and starts touching him everywhere. He starts with Romans face, lightly touching his eyebrows, Romans closed eyes, his full lush lips, recieving a kiss to his fingertip from his boyfriend. He scratches slowly with his nails over Romans throat, carefully not wanting to hurt him.  
„Peter.“  
Roman leans into Peters touch nearly purring like a cat.  
He's addicted to the werewolf.  
Peter touches the place where Romans heart is. He presses his fingertips firmly and hard against the skin.  
„I love you.“ Roman puts both hands on Peters, holding it in place.  
They sit like that for a while, without saying a word.  
„Kiss me?“ Roman suggests. They kiss very gentle and than it turns into something else. Roman bites on Peters lip, hard until he tastes blood. He moves on to Peters throat licking and kissing it.  
Than he bites. His teeth are not really sharp and it hurts. He licks on the wound tasting the bloodm savering it on the tip of his tongue. „Roman.“ Peter moans. Roman pulls away, blood dropping from his chin.  
„You liked that?“ Peter doesn't know how to answer that question.  
Did he liked it?  
„I think so.“ they kiss again.  
„Thank you.“ Roman whispers against their joined lips.  
„Maybe you could...“ He points to his crotch.  
Roman chuckles and nods, already starting to unbuckle Peters belt.  
He starts sucking Peters cock, moaning when Peter pulls on his short hair, when he dig his nails into his skin.  
„Stop.“  
„I want to fuck you.“  
„Oh I thought you would never ask.“  
He grabs Romans ass, teasing his entrance with a fingertip.  
„Come on.“  
„No reason to rush things.“  
He licks and bites the delicous skin on Romans hipbones, slowly pushing his fingers deep into Roman.  
„That's my favourite part of you.“  
„Why?“  
„You just make te prettiest sounds when I touch or kiss it.“


	3. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tarot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short chapter. Just an idea which was on my mind. enjoy

After they had sex and they desinfected and patched up Peters wound they cuddle for a while until Roman makes a weird request.  
„Tell me about my future.“   
„Huh?“   
„Like you did for Shelley. Tarot.“  
„NO.“ If he looks into Romans future and it is a bad one...he doesn't want to know what happens. He wants to live just in this moment with Roman in his arms. Exhausted because they had amazing mind blowing sex.   
„Why the fuck not?“   
„It ruins the mood.“ He kisses Romans neck.   
„Please. You do it all the time for the other kids in school.“   
All my happiness and hope and life depends on you. I don't want to risk that, Peter thinks.   
„When you do it, I do something for you in return.“   
„And what would that be?“   
„I don't know. I search your fur for fleas?“   
Peter snorts.   
„I don't have any.“   
„Every dog has fleas from time to time.“   
„Really funny.“   
„Come on...please.“ he takes Romans face in his hand and kisses him, slowly and soft.   
„Okay. But just once okay? Never ask me again!“   
He always has a pack of tarot cards in his jacket. He shuffles the cards.  
„Say stop when you feel like it.“  
„Can every gypsy look into the future?“ Stupid gadjo.  
„Can every human sing? Say stop when you feel like it.“   
„Stop.“   
Peter puts 3 cards on the bed in front of Roman.  
„Okay.“ He looks at the first card.  
„This card represents the past. The Heremit. You were lonely, confused, with no real goal in your mind. Lost and alone searching for something. Or someone.“  
Roman chews on his thumb nail. He feels exposed like Peter looks directly into his soul.  
„The next card represents the present. Oh.“ He looks at the card.  
„The lovers.“ he smiles and Roman kisses him.   
„That's us. What does it mean?“   
„That you found your soulmate, your true love.“ His voice sound strange.  
„Sound pretty cheesy.“   
Roman grabs Peters hand, he squeezes it lightly. 

„The next card represents your future.“   
„Shee-it.“ It's death.  
„What does that mean?“ Roman looks at Peter.  
„It...is not really a bad card. It is not that you will die. Just...some part of you will. Some part will die and you will be reborn. Like a new beginning.“  
You will die. You will die and become a full upyr. Oh fuck. Peter thinks.  
„Okay. Sounds not good. You were right that was a bad idea. Forget it.“


	4. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I am really sorry, I had some ideas for this story, but they seemed so unfinished. I'm sorry that I abandoned this story so long...

The first time Peter talks to Letha, Roman is not there to watch. He likes her, shes pretty, in a different way than Roman, but still. She's cute and innocent and believes in angels and true love. He doesn't love her, but she's refreshing and not upyr. She won't bite him, or cut people to death. He is still confused that he enjoyed the bite so much. It scares him that he enjoyed the pain, that he wanted to endure it just to satisfy his boyfriend special needs. He fears that there will be more biting or even grosser much scarier stuff and he's not so sure if he can stand more.   
Another Problem: Roman is a guy.  
The other students are starting to talk behind there backs. They agreed that they want to keep it secret, but it is hard. He wants to kiss Roman in the hallway, throw him against the lockers, pressing against his handsome body.  
It's just not fair.  
Sometimes when they can't wait until there home and alone, they make out in the bathroom. Roman is not a very quiet lover and they will get caught if they're not careful.   
But if Peter would have a girlfriend, the rumors would stop.   
So he talks and flirts with Letha.  
The second time they talk Roman is there to watch. His stomach hurts and he wants to kill Peter. Your mine! I am the only one with who you should talk like that. I hate you.  
He wants to scream, but instead he walks home. He locks himself in the bathroom and starts crying.  
Peter is not gay, Peter is not in love with him. It was just an experiment, something to try out. Now he wants to be with Letha. Why her?  
He knows why. Because he is ugly, because he is a monster.  
Someone knocks on the door.  
„Leave me alone.“   
Knocking.  
„I said leave me ALONE!“  
Knocking.  
He unlocks the door and it's Shelley.   
„Sorry. I don't wanted to yell at you.“ She smiles and nods.  
„I don't feel so good.“ She hugs her brother closely.   
„I love him so much! Why doesn't he understand that?“ Shelley shrugs her shoulders.  
„I wish you could talk.“ Shelley pats him on the back, smiling.  
„I bought icecream and we wanted to watch a movie together. I don't think that he will come. Do you want to join me instead?“ Shelley nods again.   
So they sit together on Romans bed and watch an old horror movie, while Romans eats ice cream and cries a lot. He enjoyes Shelleys company and she enjoyes the sweeter side of Roman.   
The first time Peter kisses her, he hopes Roman won't find out. He loves him truely, but he needs some normality in his life. Fucking her is different too. No biting, no blood. 

„We should break up.“ he says when he sees roman the next time.  
„NO! Please...don't leave me.“ He holds Peter in his arms, firmly.  
„We can be friends again. It's not fair, to her.“ Roman doesn't answer, he just feels numb inside and he wants to scream, but he can't find his voice.  
„Do you love her?“ he asks.  
Peter shakes his head.  
„Do you love me?“ Peter kisses him, soft and gentle.  
„Of course I do.“ 

two days later Peter gets a call from Roman.  
„I did it again and it's your fault.“


	5. Agony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very descriptive passage of a corpse. If that triggers you but you still want to read the story, just skip the first passage. Also selfharm trigger warning and all the other f***ed up stuff.   
> Thanks for everyone who gave me kudos it means a lot to me.   
>  I finally found out how I can convince my computer to use english quotation marks =) Hurray!

When Peter arrives he can't really believe what he sees. Roman smiles and holds a little girl in his arms. He strokes her long blond hair that is full of blood, leaves and dirt.   
Her eyes are still open and the expression of fear is frozen on her face. Her mouth is slightly open. She reminds him a bit of Letha but younger and even more beautiful.   
Her blue dress is torn at the bottom and her hands are neatly folded on top of her chest. One shoe is missing....  
Peter comes closer, pulls the little girl free from Romans grip. Her arms are dropping down. Her wrists are slit and there is a big wound in her chest.  
She must have been so afraid. He murmurs something softly in her ear. Tells her that everything will be alright and that she never will feel pain again.

“Are you mad at me?” Roman pulls his knees closer to his body, he's shaking.   
“I don't know.” He should be mad, but he still loves Roman.  
“Come.” He pulls him up and hugs him close.  
“Why are you doing this? You have to stop killing those People. Please.” Roman shakes his head.  
“I can't.” He kisses Roman on his cheek and then on his lips.  
“If you really love me, then you'll stop.”  
Roman pushes peter away and kicks him. Again and again and again.  
“You left me!” Kick. “You showed me what happiness is, what love is and then you left me.” Kick.  
“I wish I killed you, so you could be mine.” Kick. “Why her?” Kick.  
“I fucking HATE you.” Kick.  
Roman begins to cry, trying hard to stay focused. His right hand still holds the blade, he drops it.   
“I love you.” his voice cracks, Peter watches him and he can't stand it. He notices that Roman bleeds, that his arms are an open wound, deep and Peter can't imagine why someone could have the power to be so self-destructive.   
“We have to stitch up your wounds.” Roman nods and Peter hugs him.   
“Never do that again. You could have died!” He doesn't want Roman to die, because he knows what will happen. It will be even worse, he will be thirsty and Peter doesn't know what he will do than.   
Maybe I should end this, here and now give Roman peace. Peter never had to stitch a wound himself, but he often watched his mother doing it. So he takes Roman home and tries hard not to yell again.   
It won't help and he can't do anything now, it's too late. After he's finished Roman tries to snuggle with him but Peter is still angry and pushes him away.   
“Please I love you. Why are you so cruel to me?” Roman murdered a little girl, he's manipulating Peter constantly and they shouldn't be together.   
He knows that he must leave, that he must run as far away as he can or he will never be able to escape. But for now he holds Roman and kisses his cheek his forehead and then his lips.   
He tastes like salt and Peter tries hard not to think about why his lips taste like tat. Roman falls asleep and Peter starts to cry, he feels so helpless and he wants that everything is normal and okay again. 

When Roman wakes up Peter is still there.   
“I will not leave you. But only if you agree to some conditions.”  
Roman would do everything for Peter he must know that!   
“Yes. Everything.”  
“No Killing. No cutting, I don't care if you're doing it on your own body or on someone else's. NO CUTTING. No Lies and we're going away from here.   
Away from your mother and this stupid city and we'll never come back. Understood?”  
Roman nods and Peter kisses him.   
“Can we take Shelly with us?” he murmurs into Peters neck.  
“Sure. If she wants to come with us.” Roman smiles and starts to lick on Peters neck and bites it but tries hard not to break the skin. They kiss again and for a moment everything is okay and perfect.   
“Come on. I really want to fuck you before we go.”   
“We're leaving now?” Peter just nods and tries to remove Romans clothes.  
“But....I need more time!”   
“You agreed to this remember?” He pushes Roman towards his bed and kisses him again.  
“Yes. I did.” his voice sounds a little bit sad.   
maybe Roman can be saved after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the worst writer ever....I swear I will continue and finish this soon. And that there will be smut in the next chapter. I suck at writing smut it's always the same and I should be better (I am gay after all I should be an expert ) at this but I am not. :(


End file.
